Giving pause.

Control earrings

You think you’re all geeky, huh? You’re not. Geek is a null word. It’s impossible to be geeky anymore. Geeks are people who know where shit is that other people don’t. The world’s been indexed by the last generation of geeks. We’re all just users now.

What you can be, though, is an aficionado, if you have time for that sort of thing. Being an aesthete is even better. Truly not giving a flying leap at the moon what anyone thinks of your ensemble: that’s better-est. It’s style nirvana. None of us will make it. We’re secretly obsessed with what other people think. The harder we pretend it isn’t so, the more it is.

Maybe we should just be mere mortals for a day and cop some cool lobewear. Like these control earrings I spy on Etsy this morning.

You know how baseball managers have all those secret hand signals? The tug at the ear? Now you can wear an “advance track” button on your right ear and look knowingly across the room at a fellow aesthete during a particularly boring-ass meeting. You will reach up and tap your ear lobe, and those who know will know you’re saying, “This shit is a yawner. Is it lunch yet? Next!” It won’t make the Slideshare go any faster, but secret code gestures are a fun way to pass the time.

Control. Sigh. Even when you learn that control is an illusion, there is always hope.